Looking Back

Last week was a bit of a mess for me. I wasn't feeling very well, either the start of some really bad allergies or some sort of a cold (I'll find out this afternoon after I visit the doctor), and I was running on only a few hours of sleep- the storms that were coming through the Twin Cities scared my poor dog Rory and sent her running up the stairs and into my bedroom where she would shove her fair into mine in the middle of the night. I was also scrambling to finish my exam for summer intensive class and get my assignments done for my online class all before I left for the airport to fly down to Georgia for my dear friend Hilary's wedding. Needless to say when I woke up at 5:30 am that morning to bring the dogs to daycare while I was going to be out of town, I wasn't at my best.

Rory and Hannah.

Things started out great. Both of the dogs had slept with me the night before, and they didn't seem too upset that I was shoving them both out of bed earlier than they would have liked. I took a shower, finished packing, and thanks to the automatic brew function on the coffee maker, all I had to do was throw a few things in the car, fill up my to-go mug, and I would be on my way. I got both of the dogs and their food in the car, and managed to find room for my own suitcase. I had pushed the button to both garages doors open because I was planning on taking my Mom's car to drop off the dogs and to the airport, which meant I could leave my car in her spot in the garage. I started the car and went to look out the rear-view mirror. All I saw were Rory and Hannah's huge bodies and heads. It sounded like the garage door had stopped moving, so I figured I was good to go. I looked out the side view mirror as I was backing up, and I saw that the garage door hadn't made it all the way up. I quickly hit the breaks and pushed the button in the car again which did nothing. Then I decided I should jump out of the car and trying opening it with the button on the wall. I opened the door from the car and pushed the gear stick into park... or at least I meant to. As I was half way out of the car, it continued rolling backwards and smashed into the half open door. I quickly jumped back in the car, got it to stop, and moved it back forward. In the next few minutes I realized I had destroyed the garage door and there was no way I would be able to get my Mom's car out, let alone get the door to open or close. So I quickly herded the dogs and all of our things into my car, and took a deep breath.

On my way to drop the dogs off at day care I couldn't believe what had just happened. It wasn't even 6:30 am yet! I called my aunt and uncle who lived a few miles away to tell them what happened and ask them to make sure the garage door could close and that the house was locked up. Next I tried to make a plan. First thing, get a hold of the parents and let them know what happened. Next, figure out how to fix it. I made it to St. Paul and called a company called "The Garage Door Guys" and they assured me I wasn't the first person to have done this and that they could fix it right away. (If I wasn't about to walk through security at MSP when I called them, I would have head them stop by immediately. Instead I waited until I made it back safely from Georgia). Then I sent a text message to my Mom who was floating around on a cruise ship in Norway to let her know what happened but that everyone was okay. Like any child I was nervous for their response, but as I should know by now they probably weren't surprised that this happened and instead of scolding me showered me with grace. (Again, I have some super awesome parents!) Once all of that was taken care, again I had made it to the airport and through security on time, I began to wonder "what can I learn from this?"

The obvious response was "Always make sure the garage door is open!","Check your mirrors!", and "Look Behind You!" But as I thought about the idea of looking back, I wondered what that should look like in our lives as Christians. I mean, our past makes us who we are... Each experience that we have contributes to the person we become. Each mistake and triumph I have had makes me the She that God intends for me to be. How can we appreciate our past in a way that allows us to acknowledge its importance without dwelling in it and never moving on? What approach would God like us to have to situations like this?

Philippians 3:13 pretty much says to just forget the past and focus on what lies ahead. Isaiah 43:18 shares that sentiment. And if you continue reading to verse 25 it says that God, who blots out our transgressions for His sake and that He won't even remember our sins. So is it safe to say that once we go through a process of confession and accept God's grace for each mistake we make, then we will be made new and can call it good? That's what 1 John 1:9 seems to be saying... and 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that if we are in Christ we are a new creation completely, with an old that has entirely passed away allowing the new to come.

But 2 Corinthians takes it a bit further in chapter 12. Verses 9-10 state that God's grace is sufficient for us, and that His power is made perfect in weakness... By boasting of our weaknesses the power of Christ can be rest upon us and we can proclaim His greatness. So does that mean that maybe we shouldn't just freely toss the past aside? Instead we should remember so that we can proclaim God's power and greatness that came from it.

So in this instance, I should remember God's power and greatness in: giving me parents who showed me wonderful grace; providing skilled and expedient repair men; wonderful friends who checked on the house and checked the repair work while I was still in Georgia (Thanks Laur!)... I guess that makes me a She who isn't afraid of mistake because I know He will provide a way to fix them and that everything that happens has a greater purpose. Wouldn't it be wonderfully to live as fearlessly as that last statement implies!


I guess now I'll hope to do exactly that so I can remember all His greatness... Only looking back when the car is in reverse and when recalling the past will allow us to proclaim God's greatness.